The Babysitter
by Cory Byers
First, some background information. I’ve been writing stories for years, ever since I could read. I always wanted to write stories like the ones I was reading, and I was reading a lot of “horror” (really, they were just books like the Goosebumps series, which usually weren’t scary except for the occasional story). So, naturally I went in that direction when I began writing. And, except for the occasional story about being stranded in the mountains or crashing on an island owned by a nefarious company, I stayed there. Often my stories involved the supernatural, but sometimes they were just about serial killers massacring people…I should mention my three favorite movies back then were Scream, I Know What You Did Last Summer, and Urban Legend. Additionally, I wrote a lot of sequels (I wrote two I Know… sequels and one Urban Legend sequel, among others). Nearly all of my stories were atrocious, even if the ideas were somewhat decent. Regardless, I thought they were good and, like many aspiring child authors, wanted to make writing my full-time profession one day. However, unlike many aspiring child authors, I had more realistic expectations. I knew that I would probably need some sort of formal education, and that my dream was going to be hard to achieve. I knew I would probably need some other job to be my main source of income. Eventually, writing became simply a hobby of mine.
Anyways, “The Babysitter” was one of the earliest things I wrote when I first got a computer, since it was much easier to type than to write freehand. It originally was supposed to be about the old Babysitter Urban Legend, the one about the man calling repeatedly and asking, “Have you checked the children?” (In case you didn’t figure it out already, urban legends scared the crap out of me back in the day, and they still do to a certain extent). My version of “The Babysitter” quickly evolved (or is it devolved?) into a story about a demon collecting souls in order to summon Satan to the world and cause mass destruction. I actually like the idea and even tried to re-write the story (though I never finished, what I did write is considerably less horrendous than this story), but the execution is horrible. And thus, I present you with “The Babysitter.” Enjoy!
Characters
· Faith:16yrs old The Babysitter. She is very concerned about her friends.
· Lily:15yrs old Faith's best friend. She is like Sheep: she does everything Faith does.
· Kris: 15yrs old Faith and Lily's friend. She is very lazy when it comes to school work
· River:14yrs old Faith's brother. He and Faith fight a lot.
· Colby:17yrs old Faith's boyfriend. They are having trouble with their relationship.
· Lauren:15yrs old Faith's arch nemesis. She and Faith used to be friends.
· Salem:16yrs old Faith's friend. He often gives advice to Faith and Lily and Kris
· Drew:5yrs old Faith is babysitting her. She is very spunky.
· Maryn:8yrs old. Faith is also babysitting her. She thinks that she is too old for a babysitter.
I’m a big fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, so you could often find at least one character named after someone on that show. In this story, it was Faith. As for the other names, some are based on real people (Colby, Lauren, Drew) while others are just names I liked (and still do, actually). I know, some of these names are strange, but this is a story about a demon stalking teenagers for their souls…so just go with it.
Prolouge
Everything has been kept the same…see “Prolouge” above as evidence.
"Why does it matter where I was?!!," screamed Faith.
"Bvecause you didn't meet me like you said you would!!!," screamed Colby. "You know what?," said Faith. "I'm sick of this! I forgot, okay!?! But it's too late. I am dumping you!"
I doubt people actually say “I am dumping you” when they’re actually dumping people. I had no experience with relationships back when I wrote this, and it shows. I think my cynicism about relationships was reflected in my stories, since they usually either ended badly or were conducted in secret.
"What?," asked Colby. At first his tone was full of sorrow. But than it turned to anger. Faith could also detect some hate in his voice. "You can't leave me. I'll kill you first."
This is the first sign something is wrong. Either Colby is a psychopath, or something else is horribly awry. What could it be?! Why is Coldy acting insane?! That was the reaction I was going for when I wrote this.
Faith backed away in fear. (Smart, Faith. Personally, I’d be running for the kitchen to find some sort of weapon, preferably a cleaver.) He ran toward her. Faith ducked under him. She ran into the kitchen and grabbed a knife. (Now she gets a weapon. It’s not a cleaver, but it’ll get the job done.) Colby lunged at her as though he was pocessed. She held her knife out but Colby didn't stop. (See what I mean?) Faith gagged at the sound of ripping flesh. (This is sort of gross. I was apparently a very macabre child. Also, this is supposed to be the second sign that something is wrong, and thus ruling out the whole “Colby is a psychopath” theory. However, I’m fairly certain that some psychopaths, if not all, would run themselves into a knife…after all, most psychos aren’t playing with a full deck if you know what I mean.)
Colby stepped away from her, the knife still sticking out of him. To her surprise, Colby laughed. (Finally, I present you with the third sign something is wrong. At least this time I’m beginning to suspect that Colby may, in fact, not be a psychopath, but I also was expecting something supernatural to happen. I guess this is still something an insane murder might do.) "I'm not what you think," he said. His face was immediatly transformed. It was demon like. (At last, we can rule out that Colby is not, in fact a psychopath…unless he’s a psychotic demon. And, since this is a Cory original, that’s possible). "You can't win," the demon said.
Colby fell to the floor. A sort of spirit left Colby's body. (I didn’t actually know what I wanted the aforementioned spirit to look like, so I deliberately left it vague…which will happen repeatedly throughout this story.) "What happened?," he said. Faith knew at once she had made a terrible mustake. "It's okay," she said. But it wasn't okay. Faith knew it would never be okay.
So, we’ve ruled out that Colby is a psycho, but something is clearly amiss. Unfortunately, the characters in my story are one-dimensional and sort of annoying, so I’m not sure I care to find out what’s going on.
Chapter One
December 1st
10:34 PM
I loved marking the time in my stories, and I almost always set them during the fall or winter. I liked when the weather worked against my protagonists, which will happen several times during this story. However, you’d think that I’d have set some of my stories during the spring or summer. Just think of the weather potential! Tornadoes! Floods! Severe storms! Hurricanes! Actually, now that I’m typing this, I just remembered that at least two of my stories have featured floods and/or severe storms and/or a hurricane. I guess I never got around to using a tornado as a plot device. Alright, back to the story:
Faith unlocked the door to her house. "Mom, Dad, I'm home," she called out. "Why are you home so late young lady?" asked her dad angerly. (If Faith’s parents were in the room, why did she have to unlock the door? Are we supposed to assume that Faith’s parents had just entered the room as she entered? We’ll never know.) "Colby is in the hospital," she replied, holding back the tears that were welling in her eyes. (Way to garner some sympathy points, Faith.) "What happened!," asked her mother, who was clearly shocked. "Well, he was, um, drunk, I think, and he attacked me. I got a knife and he...he...." (Maybe you shouldn’t have mentioned he was drunk. After all, he’s only 17 and you’re only 16.) She could hold back the tears no longer. Her mother held her. "There, there," said her mother soothingly. (Wow, comforting. Her daughter impaled her boyfriend with a knife after he attacked her, and all she can say is “There, there.” Faith’s mom, you fail at mothering.)
December 2nd
1:23 PM
***
"That's terrible!," said Lily. (Way to state the obvious, Lily.) "I know,"replied Faith. "I can't believe it either." said their friend Kris. "Can't believe what?" asked Lauren.
"I can't believe that this school is so big yet I keep seeing you," said Lily. (Oh, man, this is about to be embarrassing.)
"Well I can't believe that you were allowed out of your cage this morning," said Lauren, smiling. (Worst. Comeback. Ever. I do like that she was smiling, though. I imagine her having one of those malicious, Regina-George-of-Mean-Girls grins on her face…though I’m not sure if that’s what I meant, since Mean Girls wouldn’t be a movie until years after I wrote this)
"Do you wanna start something?," asked Lily. (Umm, Lily, she just implied that you were an animal who lived in a cage. I think the answer to your question is “Yes, Lily, I called you an animal because I want to fight you.”)
"Bring it on!," exclaimed Lauren. (Or I guess that would work.) The girls lunged at each other. (I can’t believe I included a girl fight in this story. They’re probably going to start pulling each other’s hair and biting.)
This reminded Faith how Colby had lunged at her. She held her head saying "It's not your fault," silently. (Dramatic much, Faith? She’s starting to annoy me.) Kris seemed to notice that Faith was troubled. "Are you okay Faith?," she asked. Faith sat up. "Yeah," she said,"I'm fine."
"Whoa, stop!," said Salem as he pushed between Lily and Lauren. They ran around him and fell to the ground, Lauren biting Lily's arm. (I was right about the biting. Also, this scene with Salem was supposed to be foreshadowing a future event in the story…it’s not very effective.) Salem ignored them this time. "I came over here for a reason, not to mess with these two," he said. "Um Faith, Kris, do you two want to come out to the Pizza Shack tonight?'' (Yes, I made the “Pizza Shack” up. I wish I hadn’t, but I did.) ".....Sure," said Faith. "It might get my mind off of well, you know." (I love how Faith was about to have a nervous breakdown, and now she’s acting like her situation with Colby was just some irritating event that she doesn’t want to think about.)
"Why don't we ask Lily?," asked Kris. "I have a felling that she and Lauren are going to be in detention today." (Then why bother asking, Kris? You just contradicted yourself.) Sure enough, two seconds later a teacher came and gave them detention slips for afternoon detention. (No, Kris doesn’t have precognitive abilities. I didn’t go that far…in this story, at least.)
Chapter Two
December 3rd
12:10 AM
Kris woke up. She looked at the clock on her computer. 12:10 AM! I need to get some sleep tonight, so I better get done with my report. (I know my abrupt shift here to the 1st person perspective might be confusing, but it wasn’t meant to be. Kris is supposed to be thinking these things.)
Kris looked at the computer. Written in large, bold type were the words OUTSIDE. Kris looked around. No one was there. She decided to go outside. (I have no words. Well, I have several, but they all essentially mean “dumbass.” Seriously Kris, why the eff would you go outside after finding a mysterious message on your computer screen asking you to go there? I just…it’s really infuriating that I wrote a character who is so obviously a complete and total idiot. Unfortunately, she’s not the only idiot in this story.)
She got there and called out. "Hello? Anyone out here?" No answer. (Oh for the love of God, Kris, you’re in a horror story! You never ask, “Who’s there?” (or something to that effect) in a horror story! At least you didn’t say, “I’ll be right back.” Well, not yet anyways. I wouldn’t put it past you.)
She walked out, away from the door. It closed behind her. "Oh, crud!" she said. (I hate that word, and I always have. I have absolutely no idea why I included it in this story.) She was locked out. There was an extra key behind her house in the garden. (This is all a very convenient way of getting Kris into the backyard, which is close to the woods. I loved including forests in my horror stories.) She was going to get it. "If I had just not gone out this afternoon, none of this would've happened," she grumbled. Pizza hadn't gone well. Faith was really upset about Colby. He wasn't allowed to have any visitors besides family yet. Faith said she wanted to talk to him. Kris had this feeling that Faith wasn't telling them the whole story about what happened that night. (I’m not really sure why going out earlier was causing Kris’s present circumstances…or why she’s talking to herself. And of course Faith is going to be upset about Colby…she stabbed him. Way to be sensitive to other people’s feelings, Kris.)
Kris got to the side of the house. When she got to the garden she almost threw up. There lay someone, dead. He was covered in scratches and bruises. He also had some strange markings on his face, and he had many tattoos. (The presence of tattoos was supposed to show that this dead guy was bad news. Now, I have nothing against people with tattoos. I actually have six, my father has nine, and my sister has sixteen. I think I meant for the tattoos to be creepy, stereotypical-gang-member tattoos…not that this guy’s in a gang or anything.)
Despite the awful smell and the terror that was building inside of her, Kris bent closer to the body. (Okay, I’m starting to question Kris’s mental health. She seems somewhat suicidal to me. Someone is dead in your backyard Kris! Get the eff out of there before it’s too late!) She saw that the markings on his face looked ritualistic. Suddenly Kris remembered a serious thing. She didn't know why she had forgot it so quickly. Her computer had said "Outside". Someone was lureing her out here!!!!!! (Seriously, it took her this long to figure out that something was amiss. Kris is making me so effing angry right now. I hope someone comes and slaughters her, putting her out of her misery and putting us out of ours.) She turned to run. She made it to the back door. Thats when she remebered that both doors were locked! Kris ran to the flower pot that hid the key. She went to grab it when something grabbed her. She turned and saw someone with the face of a demon. Kris ran to the neighbors yard. Her bare feet were freezing in the new snow that must have fallen when she was sleeping. (See what I mean about the weather working against my characters. The presence of snow was supposed to make it harder for Kris to escape. I hope there’s a freakin’ blizzard.)
When Kris got to the door, she banged on it heavily. She pounded it (this sounds vaguely dirty) as long as she could before the demon ran to her. "Help me! Somebody please!" The demon started to grab her,but she was prepared this time. (I’m confused about what, exactly, Kris was prepared for. There’s no mention of her fighting off the demon or anything. So, this is confusing.)
She ran to the woods behind the neighbor's house. (See what I mean. Everyone, not just Kris, conveniently lives near a forest. I imagine they live in a rustic area.) The police station was just on the other side. (Again, very convenient that she has to run through the forest to get to the police station.)
Snow as falling again. Lightly at first, but it was very heavy by the time Kris made it to the half way point of the woods. The demon caught up with her than. (Again with the weather. You know, for a demon who assumedly has supernatural powers, you’d think that it would have caught up to Kris much sooner.) He grabbed her. It's grip was supernatural. (Well, at least its grip is supernatural…whatever that means.) He opend a box. Kris felt as if her soul was being absorbed. (It’s unclear what Kris means, so let me clarify. Her soul is being absorbed by the box, a.k.a. it's stealing her soul.) Kris fell to the ground, unmoving. (I guess the lack of a soul equals unconsciousness. Who knew?)
Okay, so we've reached the end of the first part of "The Babysitter," and we've lost our first victim. The important thing to remember, however, is that, if the demon had his/her/its way, there would be two victims already (remember, Faith would be dead via a possessed Colby). This won't be the last time the demon does itself in. Believe me, not even close.
Next time: someone actually shows some intelligence, meaning their days are numbered, naturally. Also, there will be some actual babysitting, and one of our protagonists will face something truly evil: triplets.
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