Burning Alive

Salem

Cast of Main Characters

Tatum- 15 years old. Interested in Salem witch hunt.

Leslie- 16 years old. Tatum’s sister.

Adam- 14 years old. Tatum and Leslie’s brother.

Dede- 14 years old. Adam’s friend.

Sarah- 17 years old. Leslie’s friend. Modern day witch.

Michael- 16 years old. Tatum’s friend.

Becca- 15 years old. Tatum and Michael’s friend.

Jordan- 17 years old. The new girl.

            Okay, so this story is about someone stalking people in Salem, Massachusetts, site of the infamous Salem Witch Hunt back in the day, and killing them the same way they killed witches.  Or that was the intention at least.  Some of the deaths don’t really have anything to do with deaths during the Salem Witch Hunt, at least not that I’m aware of.  I sort of ran out material, so I think I just started making things up.  Basically, this became more of slasher story, where people are just randomly murdered, as opposed to there being any method to the madness.  This is completely unsurprising to me and actually typical of my stories.

            One thing about this story that’s different from “The Babysitter” is the fact that this story is very macabre and dark, or at least more so than “The Babysitter.”  What I mean is, while the latter had some flashes of sinister things (anyone remember Lily’s soul-sucking, where she was pinned to the wall with knives?), the attacks were relatively tame.  In this story, however, some of the killings are actually very painful-sounding, such as when *someone* burns to death.  However, there are also many atrocious, horribly-written scenes (just wait for Becca’s big moment with the stalker, which is one of the most unintentionally hilarious things I’ve ever written).

            Before we begin, though, a word about the names.  Tatum was named after a character from Scream, played by Rose McGowen (she played the sister of Dewey [David Arquette] who is SPOILER ALERT killed by garage door when she tries to escape said garage).  Dede, Mara, Becca, and Jordan were originally named something else I think, but after watching MTV’s Sorority Life back in the day, I changed them to the names of the pledge master (Becca) and three pledges (Dede, Mara, and Jordan).  Yeah, I don’t really know why I did that, since the characters are nothing like their namesakes, except for Becca, who only resembles the real Becca in appearance (not that I bother to actually describe my Becca).  Dede, by the way, is pronounced like “DeeDee;” yes, the real Dede actually spelled her name like this. And with that, let’s begin “Salem.”

Prologue

The Past

May 9

7:41 AM

She wiped her eyes as they slipped the rope around her neck.  She hadn’t done anything to the people of this sleepy town, yet they were hanging her.  She looked to her left. Her sister, Mary, stood there.  To her right, Betsy was there, and they all stood at the gallows.  They had been accused of being witches and were now going to die.  Betsy and Mary were crying, and she had as well, but now knew there was something better to do.  Her friend, Leah, who actually was a witch, had been burned the other day.  She had chanted a spell right before she died.  Now the spell was stuck in her mind, and she knew what she was going to do.  As Betsy and Mary were pushed off the gallows, she spoke the magic words.  She immediately felt power course through her body, and she knew she would have her revenge. Even as she was pushed off the gallows, she knew she’d be back.

I love that this person, who is not a witch at all, is able to just invoke some hidden power at whim without any sort of training or practice.  If this were real life, I’d be worried because anyone could just randomly decide to start casting spells on people left and right.

FYI, I deliberately did not reveal her name.  In hindsight, however, I don’t really know why I did this, but I remember it being deliberate.

Chapter One

Present Day

May 5

10:30 PM

Morgan woke up as she heard a crash downstairs.  Someone was in her house.  Morgan’s parents were on vacation, leaving her home alone.  She had been scared, so she had brought a knife upstairs with her.  (I’ve actually done this before…which I am ashamed to admit.  As a result, I can’t knock Morgan for this.) She clutched in her hands and climbed out of bed.

Morgan tiptoed halfway down the stairs and listened.  (What the hell, Morgan?!?!  Why are you investigating?  Personally, I’d have already climbed out the window and be running for safety by now.  I guess I sort of admire you’re resolve, even though it’s going to result in your death.  If you thought that was a spoiler, then you must not have read my first story.)  She could still hear the person moving around, but was still in the entry hallway.  Morgan silently stepped down the stairs, hands trembling.  (Again Morgan, why exactly are you going downstairs, especially considering how scared you are?  Climb out a window!  Or, better yet, call the effing police!)  She reached the bottom, and screamed.  (Way to blow your cover, dumbass.)  The intruder was right in front of her.

Morgan screamed again, then ran back upstairs.  (Of course it was necessary for her to scream a second time, especially before she ran back upstairs.)  She could hear the intruder following her, close behind her.  It was a woman, and she grabbed Morgan’s blonde hair.  (How the eff does Morgan know the intruder’s a woman?)  Morgan grabbed the stair railing as the woman let go of her hair and grabbed her feet.  Morgan screamed as she let go.  The duo rolled down the stairs.  (Oh man, these people are idiots.  I’m starting to think this story takes place in the same [hopefully] fictional town as “The Babysitter.”)  Morgan got up first, and realized something.  They were both girls.  She had a weapon, the intruder didn’t.  Morgan was an orange belt in karate, which was pretty good.  (I actually had no idea back then if an orange belt was good, and I still don’t.  In fact, I don’t even if there is an orange belt.  The entire extent of my karate knowledge comes from this kid I babysit who can break a board with his hand.  Back when I wrote this, I wasn’t babysitting board-breaking kids who could kill me, so I didn’t even have the little karate knowledge that I have now.)  She could probably take the woman who was now getting up. 

Okay, Morgan:  if she pulled you down the stairs, why try to fight her?  At the very least, she seems to be in pretty good shape, so why try and…well, what were you planning to do anyways, Morgan?  Kill this person?  Even though she broke into your house, you seem pretty okay with slaughtering her.  Maybe you’re the murderer in this story?

As Morgan prepared herself for battle, the woman grabbed her.  Morgan thrust the knife toward the woman’s stomach.  The intruder was incredibly fast, and grabbed Morgan’s hand before she was even close to stabbing her.  (I bet you’re regretting that surge of empowerment you felt a minute ago, aren’t you?  At least you still have your weapon.)  The woman took the knife and threw it.  (Uh, nevermind.  At least neither of you appear to have a weapon, though.)  She reached inside her large coat and threw some kind of liquid on Morgan.  (Okay, scratch that.  I guess it’s *possible* that the liquid isn’t anything that can do real damage, but who are we kidding?  Morgan’s doomed.)  It smelled like gasoline, and suddenly Morgan knew what the intruder was trying to do.  She ran to the door, the intruder right behind her.  (Now she runs.  Better late than never I guess.)  She got to the door and opened it, but paused.  She looked at the woman.  Morgan saw her face as the woman said, “Time to die.”  Morgan looked up and saw a flaming rag come at her.  It would be the last thing she ever saw. 

Umm, so I guess that whole better late than never thing doesn’t really hold up since it was Morgan’s attempt to escape that eventually did her in.  I’m sort of confused by this sequence though.  If we’re to believe this woman set some sort of booby trap, how did she do so?  Also, what would she have done if Morgan had gotten bold and stayed and fought, or if she had tried to run back upstairs?  Is the entire house rigged with flaming rags? 

So I guess Morgan’s not the murderer, unless she’s faking her death…which I doubt.  But seriously, where the eff did this “flaming rag” come from?  And was it just floating there (by magical means perhaps), waiting for Morgan to enter the room?  I really hope not, because that’s just ludicrous…though this is a story dealing with supernatural stuff, so I guess the whole thing’s ludicrous.

Chapter Two

May 6

6:15 AM

Tatum opened her eyes as the sunlight streamed into her room.  She was excited about today.  They were starting the segment on the Salem Witch Hunt in History class.  Tatum had been looking forward to it all year. 

In real life, I was excited whenever we would learn about the Salem Witch Hunt, too, until I had to play the part of Reverend Hale when my class acted out The Crucible.  I told my teacher I didn’t want to act, and she said she’d give me a small part.  I guess by small she meant the second largest male part in the entire play.  Thanks a lot, Mrs. P.

Tatum walked down the hall into her brother Adam’s room.  She woke him up and went back to her and Leslie’s room to shower and get dressed.  Leslie was already awake and in the kitchen, eating. 

After she was done, Tatum went into the living room of her family’s middle class apartment.  (I don’t really know why I felt the need to specify that the apartment was “middle class.”  I’ve never lived in an apartment, so I don’t even know what a “middle class” apartment would be like.)  Her mom’s suitcases were by the door.  (Conveniently, Tatum’s mom is going out of town just when everything’s about to go down.  Hmm, that’s suspicious.  At least her dad’s staying in town to protect his children.) 

“Okay Tatum,” said her mom as she walked into the room.  “I’m ready to go. And remember, your dad will be really busy for work so don’t bother him.”  She rolled up her sleeves halfway and went into the kitchen.  (I find the whole “sleeve rolling” phrase to be very bizarre.  Why is she rolling her sleeves up halfway?  Why not just wear a t-shirt?  Also, I don’t think I ever establish why Tatum’s mom is going out of town.  Maybe she’s having an affair?  Or, better yet, maybe she’s working with/is the killer?  Maybe it’s some combination of the two, and this whole plot is an elaborate attempt to murder her family so she can start a new life with her lover?)

That’s when her dad walked into the room, talking into his cell phone.  “No! No, I can’t come to New York! My wife will be out of town and there’s no one to watch the kids.  I don’t care how important he is.”  There was a pause.  “Fine. Fine, I’ll be there.”  (Man, Mr. Tatum’s Dad gives in pretty easily.  Perhaps he’s having an affair, and the argument was just an act?  Maybe he and his wife are working together to eliminate their children?  If his wife is planning to have him killed, I bet she’s pretty pissed right about now.)  He hung up the phone.  He looked at Tatum.  “Tatum, sweetie, I have to go out of town.  There’s a very important client I have to go see.  I’ll ask Mrs. Wyatt to come stay with you.” 

Tatum couldn’t believe what he was saying.  “But Dad, I’m old enough to stay home alone, and so are Leslie and Adam.  We’re not babies anymore,” she said, going on and on and on.  (I don’t think my parents left me home alone overnight until I was 18 or so…I have no idea if they were just being overprotective of if they were being practical [which wasn’t really an issue because I never did anything to worry them growing up].  Still, I’d be concerned about leaving a 16 year old and her younger siblings home alone all weekend in my middle class apartment.)

“Okay,” said her dad, but Tatum went on.  “Okay Tatum, I trust you,” he said, finally silencing her.  (Apparently, Tatum’s dad is not so concerned with her well-being, just about shutting her up.  I don’t really blame him.)

“Aaaagggghhhhh! Thank you daddy, thank you! You won’t regret this, I promise,” she said, hugging him.  He hoped he wouldn’t, but somehow knew he would. 

I would too, considering Tatum almost died of excitement.  Why are the parents in my story so irresponsible?  He might as well buy the alcohol for her…though there ends up being no party in this story as a result of a serial killer stalking Tatum and her friends.  Also, this is the last we hear of Tatum’s parents, meaning that once everything starts to go down she apparently never calls to tell them or they just don’t care enough to come home.

Leslie walked over to her friends, Sarah and Mara.  They were sitting in the courtyard in the front of the school, with someone Leslie didn’t recognize.  (I love this abrupt shift from Leslie’s middle class apartment to the courtyard at school; it makes me feel like Leslie teleported to school.  She didn't...as far as we know.)  “Hey girl,” said Mara, waving.  Leslie came over and sat down.  (The “Hey girl” makes me cringe).

“Hey,” said Sarah.  “Have you met Jordan? She’s new.” 

Jordan smiled and said “Hi.” 

“Hi,” said Leslie, not really wanting to.  (Man, Leslie’s kind of a jerk…I like that because it means she actually has a little bit of a personality.  Tatum does too, though hers is sort of annoying already.)  She looked around. “Where’s Morgan,” she said. 

“Omigosh!” said Mara. “Haven’t you heard?!? Morgan is missing.  Her mom and dad came home this morning and she was gone. All that was left a burnt rag.”  (Whoa, Mara, you’re a little too excited about your friend being missing and possibly dead.  Maybe you’re the killer?  Also, there were seriously no other signs that Morgan had been burned alive?  The stalker must be very efficient…though he/she did leave the burnt rag behind, which was a misstep).  There was one thing Leslie didn’t like about Mara.  Mara loved to get her hands on a juicy piece of gossip, no matter who it was about, even if it was about her own friends.  (I was just thinking the same thing, which brings me to another question:  why, exactly, are you friends with Mara in the first place, Leslie?)  She beamed with excitement.

“Mara, you know what?” said Leslie.  “Morgan could be dead!  Don’t you even care?” she said.  Mara looked shocked.  Leslie knew exactly what she was thinking.  How dare she speak back to me? was what Mara was thinking.  Leslie stormed off without looking at her.  (I’m sort of impressed with Leslie for standing up to her friend, and she is currently my favorite character.  Because of this, I know she’s doomed.)

Leslie was almost to the door when Jordan ran up behind her.  “Hey!” she said. 

“What? Did Mara send you,” Leslie snapped. 

I think Leslie has some anger issues…maybe she’ll turn out to be the killer?  That might actually be interesting, if it turns out that Leslie is some reincarnated witch who has untold powers beneath her angry demeanor.  Maybe she doesn’t even know about them and/or can’t control them, like Carrie White or something?  That would be sort of cool, if not slightly plagiarized, which means it’s not going to happen.  Not because it would be a mild case of plagiarism, but because it would actually be somewhat interesting, and that wasn’t my style.

“No, no,” said Jordan.  “I think what she did was totally uncalled for. I mean, she’d supposed to be Morgan’s friend, right?”  (Wow, these characters seem to exhibit slightly more intelligence than the protagonists of my last story.  I’m impressed with my young self.) 

Leslie nodded her head.  “Finally, someone who agrees with me,” she said.  She looked at Jordan.  “Hey, where are you headed next?” she asked.  “Um…. History,” she said, looking at her schedule.  “Hey, me too,” said Leslie.  “We better get going, today we start the segment on the Salem Witch Hunt.”  (Do you ever notice that on television shows and movies, all the main characters seem to have class together?  Well, that happens all the time in this story, rather unrealistically.)

           

            So this concludes our first entry in “Salem.”  At this point, I’m going to give some of the characters the benefit of the doubt and assume that they’re not total morons.  Sadly, others have already failed miserably at getting me to actually care about their fates (I’m looking at you, Tatum).

            Next time:  Suspicions arise about Jordan, Adam saves his classmates from a mysterious fire (after nearly killing them and himself), we learn of plot to cover-up Morgan’s murder, and another character dies.  Sadly, it’s not Tatum.  I really don't know why all of my lead characters are so annoying (remember Faith everyone?).

The Babysitter Pt. I (a.k.a. Stupid People Being Stalked by an Equally Stupid Demon)

The Babysitter

by Cory Byers

First, some background information. I’ve been writing stories for years, ever since I could read. I always wanted to write stories like the ones I was reading, and I was reading a lot of “horror” (really, they were just books like the Goosebumps series, which usually weren’t scary except for the occasional story). So, naturally I went in that direction when I began writing. And, except for the occasional story about being stranded in the mountains or crashing on an island owned by a nefarious company, I stayed there. Often my stories involved the supernatural, but sometimes they were just about serial killers massacring people…I should mention my three favorite movies back then were Scream, I Know What You Did Last Summer, and Urban Legend. Additionally, I wrote a lot of sequels (I wrote two I Know… sequels and one Urban Legend sequel, among others). Nearly all of my stories were atrocious, even if the ideas were somewhat decent. Regardless, I thought they were good and, like many aspiring child authors, wanted to make writing my full-time profession one day. However, unlike many aspiring child authors, I had more realistic expectations. I knew that I would probably need some sort of formal education, and that my dream was going to be hard to achieve. I knew I would probably need some other job to be my main source of income. Eventually, writing became simply a hobby of mine.

Anyways, “The Babysitter” was one of the earliest things I wrote when I first got a computer, since it was much easier to type than to write freehand. It originally was supposed to be about the old Babysitter Urban Legend, the one about the man calling repeatedly and asking, “Have you checked the children?” (In case you didn’t figure it out already, urban legends scared the crap out of me back in the day, and they still do to a certain extent). My version of “The Babysitter” quickly evolved (or is it devolved?) into a story about a demon collecting souls in order to summon Satan to the world and cause mass destruction. I actually like the idea and even tried to re-write the story (though I never finished, what I did write is considerably less horrendous than this story), but the execution is horrible. And thus, I present you with “The Babysitter.” Enjoy!

Characters

· Faith:16yrs old The Babysitter. She is very concerned about her friends.

· Lily:15yrs old Faith's best friend. She is like Sheep: she does everything Faith does.

· Kris: 15yrs old Faith and Lily's friend. She is very lazy when it comes to school work

· River:14yrs old Faith's brother. He and Faith fight a lot.

· Colby:17yrs old Faith's boyfriend. They are having trouble with their relationship.

· Lauren:15yrs old Faith's arch nemesis. She and Faith used to be friends.

· Salem:16yrs old Faith's friend. He often gives advice to Faith and Lily and Kris

· Drew:5yrs old Faith is babysitting her. She is very spunky.

· Maryn:8yrs old. Faith is also babysitting her. She thinks that she is too old for a babysitter.

I’m a big fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, so you could often find at least one character named after someone on that show. In this story, it was Faith. As for the other names, some are based on real people (Colby, Lauren, Drew) while others are just names I liked (and still do, actually). I know, some of these names are strange, but this is a story about a demon stalking teenagers for their souls…so just go with it.

Prolouge

Everything has been kept the same…see “Prolouge” above as evidence.

"Why does it matter where I was?!!," screamed Faith.

"Bvecause you didn't meet me like you said you would!!!," screamed Colby. "You know what?," said Faith. "I'm sick of this! I forgot, okay!?! But it's too late. I am dumping you!"

I doubt people actually say “I am dumping you” when they’re actually dumping people. I had no experience with relationships back when I wrote this, and it shows. I think my cynicism about relationships was reflected in my stories, since they usually either ended badly or were conducted in secret.

"What?," asked Colby. At first his tone was full of sorrow. But than it turned to anger. Faith could also detect some hate in his voice. "You can't leave me. I'll kill you first."

This is the first sign something is wrong. Either Colby is a psychopath, or something else is horribly awry. What could it be?! Why is Coldy acting insane?! That was the reaction I was going for when I wrote this.

Faith backed away in fear. (Smart, Faith. Personally, I’d be running for the kitchen to find some sort of weapon, preferably a cleaver.) He ran toward her. Faith ducked under him. She ran into the kitchen and grabbed a knife. (Now she gets a weapon. It’s not a cleaver, but it’ll get the job done.) Colby lunged at her as though he was pocessed. She held her knife out but Colby didn't stop. (See what I mean?) Faith gagged at the sound of ripping flesh. (This is sort of gross. I was apparently a very macabre child. Also, this is supposed to be the second sign that something is wrong, and thus ruling out the whole “Colby is a psychopath” theory. However, I’m fairly certain that some psychopaths, if not all, would run themselves into a knife…after all, most psychos aren’t playing with a full deck if you know what I mean.)

Colby stepped away from her, the knife still sticking out of him. To her surprise, Colby laughed. (Finally, I present you with the third sign something is wrong. At least this time I’m beginning to suspect that Colby may, in fact, not be a psychopath, but I also was expecting something supernatural to happen. I guess this is still something an insane murder might do.) "I'm not what you think," he said. His face was immediatly transformed. It was demon like. (At last, we can rule out that Colby is not, in fact a psychopath…unless he’s a psychotic demon. And, since this is a Cory original, that’s possible). "You can't win," the demon said.

Colby fell to the floor. A sort of spirit left Colby's body. (I didn’t actually know what I wanted the aforementioned spirit to look like, so I deliberately left it vague…which will happen repeatedly throughout this story.) "What happened?," he said. Faith knew at once she had made a terrible mustake. "It's okay," she said. But it wasn't okay. Faith knew it would never be okay.

So, we’ve ruled out that Colby is a psycho, but something is clearly amiss. Unfortunately, the characters in my story are one-dimensional and sort of annoying, so I’m not sure I care to find out what’s going on.

Chapter One

December 1st

10:34 PM

I loved marking the time in my stories, and I almost always set them during the fall or winter. I liked when the weather worked against my protagonists, which will happen several times during this story. However, you’d think that I’d have set some of my stories during the spring or summer. Just think of the weather potential! Tornadoes! Floods! Severe storms! Hurricanes! Actually, now that I’m typing this, I just remembered that at least two of my stories have featured floods and/or severe storms and/or a hurricane. I guess I never got around to using a tornado as a plot device. Alright, back to the story:

Faith unlocked the door to her house. "Mom, Dad, I'm home," she called out. "Why are you home so late young lady?" asked her dad angerly. (If Faith’s parents were in the room, why did she have to unlock the door? Are we supposed to assume that Faith’s parents had just entered the room as she entered? We’ll never know.) "Colby is in the hospital," she replied, holding back the tears that were welling in her eyes. (Way to garner some sympathy points, Faith.) "What happened!," asked her mother, who was clearly shocked. "Well, he was, um, drunk, I think, and he attacked me. I got a knife and he...he...." (Maybe you shouldn’t have mentioned he was drunk. After all, he’s only 17 and you’re only 16.) She could hold back the tears no longer. Her mother held her. "There, there," said her mother soothingly. (Wow, comforting. Her daughter impaled her boyfriend with a knife after he attacked her, and all she can say is “There, there.” Faith’s mom, you fail at mothering.)

December 2nd

1:23 PM

***

"That's terrible!," said Lily. (Way to state the obvious, Lily.) "I know,"replied Faith. "I can't believe it either." said their friend Kris. "Can't believe what?" asked Lauren.

"I can't believe that this school is so big yet I keep seeing you," said Lily. (Oh, man, this is about to be embarrassing.)

"Well I can't believe that you were allowed out of your cage this morning," said Lauren, smiling. (Worst. Comeback. Ever. I do like that she was smiling, though. I imagine her having one of those malicious, Regina-George-of-Mean-Girls grins on her face…though I’m not sure if that’s what I meant, since Mean Girls wouldn’t be a movie until years after I wrote this)

"Do you wanna start something?," asked Lily. (Umm, Lily, she just implied that you were an animal who lived in a cage. I think the answer to your question is “Yes, Lily, I called you an animal because I want to fight you.”)

"Bring it on!," exclaimed Lauren. (Or I guess that would work.) The girls lunged at each other. (I can’t believe I included a girl fight in this story. They’re probably going to start pulling each other’s hair and biting.)

This reminded Faith how Colby had lunged at her. She held her head saying "It's not your fault," silently. (Dramatic much, Faith? She’s starting to annoy me.) Kris seemed to notice that Faith was troubled. "Are you okay Faith?," she asked. Faith sat up. "Yeah," she said,"I'm fine."

"Whoa, stop!," said Salem as he pushed between Lily and Lauren. They ran around him and fell to the ground, Lauren biting Lily's arm. (I was right about the biting. Also, this scene with Salem was supposed to be foreshadowing a future event in the story…it’s not very effective.) Salem ignored them this time. "I came over here for a reason, not to mess with these two," he said. "Um Faith, Kris, do you two want to come out to the Pizza Shack tonight?'' (Yes, I made the “Pizza Shack” up. I wish I hadn’t, but I did.) ".....Sure," said Faith. "It might get my mind off of well, you know." (I love how Faith was about to have a nervous breakdown, and now she’s acting like her situation with Colby was just some irritating event that she doesn’t want to think about.)

"Why don't we ask Lily?," asked Kris. "I have a felling that she and Lauren are going to be in detention today." (Then why bother asking, Kris? You just contradicted yourself.) Sure enough, two seconds later a teacher came and gave them detention slips for afternoon detention. (No, Kris doesn’t have precognitive abilities. I didn’t go that far…in this story, at least.)

Chapter Two

December 3rd

12:10 AM

Kris woke up. She looked at the clock on her computer. 12:10 AM! I need to get some sleep tonight, so I better get done with my report. (I know my abrupt shift here to the 1^st person perspective might be confusing, but it wasn’t meant to be. Kris is supposed to be thinking these things.)

Kris looked at the computer. Written in large, bold type were the words OUTSIDE. Kris looked around. No one was there. She decided to go outside. (I have no words. Well, I have several, but they all essentially mean “dumbass.” Seriously Kris, why the eff would you go outside after finding a mysterious message on your computer screen asking you to go there? I just…it’s really infuriating that I wrote a character who is so obviously a complete and total idiot. Unfortunately, she’s not the only idiot in this story.)

She got there and called out. "Hello? Anyone out here?" No answer. (Oh for the love of God, Kris, you’re in a horror story! You never ask, “Who’s there?” (or something to that effect) in a horror story! At least you didn’t say, “I’ll be right back.” Well, not yet anyways. I wouldn’t put it past you.)

She walked out, away from the door. It closed behind her. "Oh, crud!" she said. (I hate that word, and I always have. I have absolutely no idea why I included it in this story.) She was locked out. There was an extra key behind her house in the garden. (This is all a very convenient way of getting Kris into the backyard, which is close to the woods. I loved including forests in my horror stories.) She was going to get it. "If I had just not gone out this afternoon, none of this would've happened," she grumbled. Pizza hadn't gone well. Faith was really upset about Colby. He wasn't allowed to have any visitors besides family yet. Faith said she wanted to talk to him. Kris had this feeling that Faith wasn't telling them the whole story about what happened that night. (I’m not really sure why going out earlier was causing Kris’s present circumstances…or why she’s talking to herself. And of course Faith is going to be upset about Colby…she stabbed him. Way to be sensitive to other people’s feelings, Kris.)

Kris got to the side of the house. When she got to the garden she almost threw up. There lay someone, dead. He was covered in scratches and bruises. He also had some strange markings on his face, and he had many tattoos. (The presence of tattoos was supposed to show that this dead guy was bad news. Now, I have nothing against people with tattoos. I actually have six, my father has nine, and my sister has sixteen. I think I meant for the tattoos to be creepy, stereotypical-gang-member tattoos…not that this guy’s in a gang or anything.)

Despite the awful smell and the terror that was building inside of her, Kris bent closer to the body. (Okay, I’m starting to question Kris’s mental health. She seems somewhat suicidal to me. Someone is dead in your backyard Kris! Get the eff out of there before it’s too late!) She saw that the markings on his face looked ritualistic. Suddenly Kris remembered a serious thing. She didn't know why she had forgot it so quickly. Her computer had said "Outside". Someone was lureing her out here!!!!!! (Seriously, it took her this long to figure out that something was amiss. Kris is making me so effing angry right now. I hope someone comes and slaughters her, putting her out of her misery and putting us out of ours.) She turned to run. She made it to the back door. Thats when she remebered that both doors were locked! Kris ran to the flower pot that hid the key. She went to grab it when something grabbed her. She turned and saw someone with the face of a demon. Kris ran to the neighbors yard. Her bare feet were freezing in the new snow that must have fallen when she was sleeping. (See what I mean about the weather working against my characters. The presence of snow was supposed to make it harder for Kris to escape. I hope there’s a freakin’ blizzard.)

When Kris got to the door, she banged on it heavily. She pounded it (this sounds vaguely dirty) as long as she could before the demon ran to her. "Help me! Somebody please!" The demon started to grab her,but she was prepared this time. (I’m confused about what, exactly, Kris was prepared for. There’s no mention of her fighting off the demon or anything. So, this is confusing.)

She ran to the woods behind the neighbor's house. (See what I mean. Everyone, not just Kris, conveniently lives near a forest. I imagine they live in a rustic area.) The police station was just on the other side. (Again, very convenient that she has to run through the forest to get to the police station.)

Snow as falling again. Lightly at first, but it was very heavy by the time Kris made it to the half way point of the woods. The demon caught up with her than. (Again with the weather. You know, for a demon who assumedly has supernatural powers, you’d think that it would have caught up to Kris much sooner.) He grabbed her. It's grip was supernatural. (Well, at least its grip is supernatural…whatever that means.) He opend a box. Kris felt as if her soul was being absorbed. (It’s unclear what Kris means, so let me clarify. Her soul is being absorbed by the box, a.k.a. it's stealing her soul.) Kris fell to the ground, unmoving. (I guess the lack of a soul equals unconsciousness. Who knew?)

Okay, so we've reached the end of the first part of "The Babysitter," and we've lost our first victim. The important thing to remember, however, is that, if the demon had his/her/its way, there would be two victims already (remember, Faith would be dead via a possessed Colby). This won't be the last time the demon does itself in. Believe me, not even close.

Next time:  someone actually shows some intelligence, meaning their days are numbered, naturally.  Also, there will be some actual babysitting, and one of our protagonists will face something truly evil:  triplets.