Monday, May 10, 2010

Sinister Plans Are Better When Shared With Others

I'm back, finally.  Before I begin, I just want to apologize for being away for so long.  Let me try and explain.  You see, I'm currently a senior in college, and I've been incredibly busy lately.  I go to school Tuesdays and Thursdays all day, I have clinicals Monday/Wednesday/Friday, and I tutor in the evenings, so I've had barely any spare time for this blog.  However, I plan to post more promptly, so let's dive back into Salem.

Last Time:  Adam rescued four classmates from a mysterious fire, Jordan complained about Adam's inability to use his supposed Herculean strength to rescue Morgan (who was actually already dead) when she should have been investing in sort of chain mail to protect herself from the various rocks thrown at her, Sarah and Michael did nothing worth mentioning (unsurprisingly), and Mara was horribly murdered.  The killer then called our protagonists and lured them to Mara's home, and instead of calling the police, they just destroyed the house.

Chapter Six
May 7
9:45 AM

Leslie walked to Sarah between classes.  She was sitting in their usual spot, but she was alone.  “Sarah, we need to talk.”  She sat down beside her.  She immediately got to the point.  (I'm glad you got straight to the point, Leslie)  “I want you to tell me all about that spell.”  

Okay guys, I know Mara a horrible, mean person, but I'd like to think that you'd show a little more compassion.  Also, are none of you coming under suspicion for Mara's murder?  After all, it's not like you just happened upon her body; you also destroyed her house.

Sarah closed her eyes and sighed.  “Okay, I’ll tell you, but your gonna be shocked.”  Sarah seemed worried.  (I guess we are to assume that Sarah's a witch.  What I want to know is why Leslie had to seek her out to find out what the spell was if it was so important for her to know.  Should Sarah have told her right away?)  “That spell is very old.  So old, and so rare, that only a few witches really understood it, only a few could really cast it. And,” she started, but stopped.  The worried look in her eyes changed to a look of fear, of pure terror.  (Should we be suspicious that Sarah knows what the spell is despite the fact that it's so old?)
“What? What’s wrong?” asked Leslie. 
“You don’t understand, Leslie.  All the witches who knew how to cast it are dead.”

So I'm simultaneously suspicious and not suspicious of Sarah now.  On the one hand, I wonder why she knows about the spells.  On the other, she doesn't actually seem to know very much about it.  Now that can be attributable to one of two things:  either she's hiding something, or she doesn't actually know what the hell she's talking about.  Or I guess it could be poor writing on my part.  We all know that's a possibility.

Michael walked into the locker room after school.  He changed into his swimsuit and was ready to swim.  (Imagine that.  After changing into his swimsuit, he's ready to swim.  I thought he'd be ready to go jogging or destroy another house.)  He walked into the pool area, and noticed it was completely dark. Michael went for the light, but it didn’t work.  (Seriously, is there something in the water in this town.  Two of your friends have just been murdered, one of whom's house was destroyed when you touched a simple symbol.  Why are you swimming alone?)  Suddenly, the pool lights went on, but that was it.  He could barely see anything except the pool, a chair, and a shadow coming towards him.  A shadow of a person.  (Wait, so you can't see anything in the room, but there's somehow enough light for you to see a shadow, yet not the cause of the shadow.  Is this some sort of supernatural shadow.  Does Michael know what a shadow is?)  Michael looked up at the figure coming toward him, and saw her.  ("Looked up?"  Is this girl taller than Michael?  Is she flying?  Unsurprisingly, these issues are never clarified.  Also unsurprising:  how little of a fight Michael puts up.)  The next thing he saw was a baseball bat, and it was coming right at him. 

Tatum got off the phone with Becca.  She had just got done telling her what Sarah had said, and now the whole group knew except for Michael.  (See, proof of Michael's uselessness:  even his own friends call him about important, potentially life-threatening issues last.)  She called his house, letting it ring for a minute.  It rang 3 times.  7 times. 10, 11, 12 times, and still no answer.  (I guess Michael doesn't have an answering machine.)  Michael always went for a swim after school, and then came straight home.  He should have been home by now.  Tatum hung up the phone, wondering where he was.  (Do you really have to wonder?  Obviously, he's about to join Morgan and Mara.  I'd be pretty worried if my name started with M and I lived in this town right about now.)  She couldn’t worry about it for too long, because Becca, Dede, Sarah, and Jordan were coming over for a meeting.  (Oh, I'm glad Tatum doesn't care in the slightest that Michael is missing during a time when two of her friends have just recently been murdered.)

Michael opened his eyes.  He was lying on the floor in the poolroom, and the intruder was gone.  He was tied up, and all he could see was the pool.  (I guess there are no prominent shadows lurking around.)  He then heard a door open from the locker room.  The woman walked up too him.  “Good, you’re awake,” she said in an unrecognizable voice.  (Why do you care that he's awake?  Also, why are you keeping Michael alive?  I know it's not because he's worth anything to his friends.)  
“Why are you doing this?” asked Michael. “Why did you kill Morgan and Mara?” he asked.  (If this were a normal story, I'd say it would be pretty useless to ask the villain her motives.  However, this is a story I wrote, so I'm guess she's going to sing like a canary.)  
The woman just looked at him.  “Okay, I’ll tell you since you’re about to die anyways,” she said.  (See what I mean?)  “I’m am a witch who was killed long ago during the Salem Witch Hunt. I hadn’t done anything to the people of my town, but I was still killed.  Before I died, I chanted a spell so I could come back.  It worked, and I took a new name and identity.” The woman laughed.  “Now, I’ll have my revenge! I’ll kill you all.  You know, some people were tied up and thrown in water to see if the would use magic to escape. Most of them weren’t witches, but that won’t stop me from performing the test on you,” she said. 

Alright, witch woman, if you really wanted revenge on your killers, why are you just now coming back to slaughter a bunch of useless teenagers?  It's not like anyone will miss them, nor are they responsible for your death.  If you really wanted revenge, why didn't you come back right after your death?  Actually, why didn't you just wipe all the villagers out with a mass kill spell.  If you can come back from the dead, then you must be packing a lot of power.

“Who are you?” asked Michael. 
“My name now is-“ she was interrupted. 
Tatum burst into the room.  (I bet you wish you hadn't been so forthcoming with info now, don't you witch?)  “I heard all you said,” she said.  (Oh, come on, Tatum!  If you were listening to all that said, why didn't you wait another half second to hear the witch's current alias?  Oh, that's right, you didn't want to make this investigation too easy on yourself.)
“Oh yeah, well you’re too late,” said the woman.  She pushed Michael into the water, and Tatum dived in after him.  (This scene is ripped from Swimfan.)  She was about to hit the water when the woman performed a spell.  Strong power shot from her fingertips and surrounded Tatum.  She was suddenly moving very slowly, and she saw the pool disappear.  Ground replaced it, and Tatum landed on her stomach.  She looked around and stood up.  It was morning, and there was a small village in the distance.  Tatum walked into the village and suddenly noticed something odd about her clothing.  It was the same clothes she had been wearing, but everyone else in the village was dressed in olden day clothes.  (So the fact that you're not wearing the same clothes as everyone else is what tipped you off that something weird is going on, Tatum?  As opposed to the fact that you tried to dive into a pool and were instead transferred to another place, I mean?) They stared at her strangely, and she stared back.  She saw a large crowd standing around a fire.  She walked to it and saw something terrible.  Someone was in that fire.  This was a witch burning, and Tatum was in Salem during the Salem witch hunt.  I think this is sort of a rash assumption, given that witch burnings happened in more than just Salem.  Still, I guess where this witch burning took place really isn't relevant.)

So if the witch had the power to travel through time, why didn't she just travel back herself and kill everyone?  And why exactly is she trying to accomplish by sending Tatum there?  

Chapter Seven
May 7
? PM

See what I mean about time having no meaning?  I don't know about you, but I was under the impression that time still existed in the past.  Look how much we've learned from this story already!

Tatum tried to see the face of the girl in the fire, but the flames rose in front of her face.  See, how does this benefit the witch?  Why does she want Tatum to know more about her plan?  And look how close Tatum came to see who was in the fire.  We find out later who this actually is, but if Tatum had found out now, this story would be a lot shorter.)  Tatum looked over at the end of the crowd and saw a woman crying.  Probably was the girl’s mother.  The girl then chanted some words, and the clouds darkened.  Tatum could feel the evil of it all and shuddered as everything went black.  She was suddenly in a new place, but it seemed like she was still in the same village.  She was in front of a gallows, but no crowd was around it.  All she saw was a few groups of people and two bodies hang from nooses.  Two men in conversation walked by her, and she caught a bit of the dialogue.  “….that young girl that was in the middle must’ve been a real witch. Did you hear the evil in her voice as she chanted that spell?” said one man.  (It's nice to know that these hanger people didn't actually believe the other hung people were witches, yet they still complied.)  “Yeah, I thought so too. You know, that was the same spell that the girl from the other day chanted. You know that girl…..”  They walked out of earshot.  Tatum looked at the empty spot in the middle of the gallows, wondering what that girl had looked like.  Suddenly she was back at the fire, then back at the gallows, then back at the fire.  (I really don't understand why the witch is trying to help Tatum.  I mean, even she's going to be able to determine that these events are related.  She's not that much of an idiot.)  Tatum knew these events were connected somehow, and she knew that one of these two girls had come back.  (See what I mean?)
Tatum stood in the village long after she the fire had burnt out, and then felt something in her stomach.  It was incredible pain, so incredible that she passed out.  When she opened her eyes, everyone was gone, and she was back in the pool area.  (Apparently the trip back through time isn't as pleasant as the original voyage.)  She looked in the pool and saw Michael’s body.  Tatum ran form the pool area.  (Because there's nothing more suspicious than leaving a crime scene.)  She ran all the way home, because she knew that the person behind all this was probably someone she already knew.  (You'd know exactly who this person was if you'd waited another second to hear her say her name, you freaking idiot.)

Adam sat in his seat in the living room, waiting for his sister and Michael to arrive.  Jordan had just entered, though she was supposed to come with Michael.  (There's no mention of whether or not Jordan is wearing any sort of protection.  I'd at least wear a helmet if I were her...who knows when a rock will come flying out of nowhere?)  He was sitting there quietly when Tatum burst into the room.  “Who was the last one here?” she shouted. 
“What are you talking about?” asked Leslie. 
“Who was the last one here!” Tatum shouted. 
Everyone was quiet.  (Probably because none of them want to incur Tatum's unrelenting rage.)  “It was Jordan,” said Becca.  (Sell-out)
Tatum ran over to her and held her throat.  “It’s you. You killed Michael and Morgan and Mara. You sent me back in time. You did everything!”  (Okay, you're gonna need to calm down, Tatum.  You're starting to look a little bit insane.)
Jordan coughed, then said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  Tatum looked around the room. 
Everyone was shocked at what they were hearing.  “What are you doing!” said Dede. 
“I tell you the whole story,’ said Tatum, and begin to explain all she had learned at the pool house and in the past.  (Is she still holding Jordan by the neck?)  “And Jordan was the last one in the room, so she had to have been the one that killed Michael.”  (And no one can argue with that logic.)
“That’s ridiculous,” said Sarah. 
“Yeah, we all got here at about the same time,” said Becca.  (Or maybe they can.)
Tatum let go of Jordan’s neck.  “Sorry,” she said.  “I guess they’re right.”  (Wow, Tatum's easily convinced.  I bet the witch could fly up right now and convince Tatum that she herself is the witch.  She'll be killing her friends any second now.  Speaking friend homicide, is Jordan still alive?  How long did Tatum strangle her before she decided she was innocent?)
Jordan rubbed her neck.  “That’s alright,” she said. 
After everyone had calmed down, Adam spoke up.  “Well, I think anyone of us could be the next target.  We just don’t know who’s next.”

And so we've reached the end of another installment.  Michael died, but I doubt any of his friends even remember he existed since I'm pretty sure he said a whole three words during his tenure in the story.  All in all, the witch is proving to be just as much of idiot as the others in the story.  It's almost like she wants to get caught.  Still these idiots are going to need a lot more help if they want to catch her.

Next time:  Someone breaks the number one rule of scary stories (asking "Who's there?"), we'll learn a new age form of communication, the witch reveals even more information, Jordan is hit by more than just a rock, and Leslie chooses the worst possible time to have a conversation.


  1. There are witches in Swimfan?! Man, I need to watch that again! And I'm usually ready to swim OR destroy a house once I put on a two-piece. Just saying.

  2. There's aren't witches, but that crazy girl Madison (the one played by Erika Christensen) ties Amy (Shiri Appleby) to a chair and pushes her into a pool in front of Ben (Jesse Bradford). He then jumps into the pool to save her as Madison tries to hit him with something (I forget exactly what it is, but I think it might be that net thing that's used to clean crap out of the pool). He grabs the whatever and pulls her in, and he saves Amy as Madison drowns (she can't swim).

    I remember way too much of this movie.


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